all for one and one for all

the past few days have been mundane. doing the same ol' things over and over again. how wicked!! gosh...im sick and tired of school and listening to the lecturers bloops their words. there will be 3 upcoming tests scheduled for us BCT students next week. and i am not ready for any tests. my mind is on vacation mood which means nothing the lecturer taught me are saved in my brain harddisk. is it hard to be attentive for a minute?? once im left alone, my mind will go astray and not focusing on what im suppose to do. im so freaking restless!!! i dont know why...but i feel i need a break from the world. can someone hit me hard on my head so i can be in coma for a week. that will be cool. nothing seems to be exciting nowadays. my end in mind for going to school is to meet my fellow friends and get my allowances. that have to be change!! i cant have that perception forever. it got to be change or i wont survive!! i need to focus on my priorities and my main aim in life. i need to be independent and self-motivated. i have to move on and be more aggressive. i have to stop drawing castle in the air otherwise, ill be left behind digging my own grave. needless to say, life's a bitch! so ill endure it to the fullest. on the side note, i am not going to be anyone leeway to happiness. dont find me if ur lonely cause im sick and tired of having people using me as their gadget when they are alone and chucked me one side when they found someone new. make me feel like a fool being there for you and trusting you again and again when im know you going to dissappear like what you use to do. dont give me lame excuses that you think i've forgotten the promises i made. sometimes i wonder, why am i being so nice and kind to you when i know this is going to be the outcome. im simply stupid rite?? i thought you were my bff..or i guess you forgotten what is the meaning of that word rite!! spare me a msg or a call, ill be happy. at least i know that you are not using me. i guess dwelling on this wont help. you know what...you only make my life more confuse!! so sod off!! dont find me again!!

Cheerioz